I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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