I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
