drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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