whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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