I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
