Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize