I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
