Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
