Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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