maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
