just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize