I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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