when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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