I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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