she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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