He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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