Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
