I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
