He uses pillows to masturbate.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize