I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
