We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
