I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
