Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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