I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
