as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
