Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
