Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My vagina is officially offended.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize