hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
