Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
