you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
