i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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