East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
