At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
