help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Randomize
