wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
