did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
