I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The ass gains better be worth it
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
