idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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