So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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