It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
