bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
