Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
