hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
