Me. At least after what I've been through.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
