Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
