True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
