Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
