the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
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