discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
pray to the hookup gods
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
