We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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