Are we in a gay sports bar?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
