I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
