in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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