His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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