They should really pass out barf bags in church
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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