i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
