tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wish there were birth control emojis
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
