I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
