When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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