What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My bed smells like the plague
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
