I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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