chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
