Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
