Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
