gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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