The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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