I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
