How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize