do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize