I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
